You are negative and it’s not your fault. A long, long time ago in a land not so far away, people lived in caves and it was a pretty dangerous place. Too much of the animal kingdom humans look like snacks, we are soft and squishy and yummy. We don’t run very fast, we’re not very strong and we don’t climb exceptionally well. Therefore, we look like snacks.
When a cave man heard a noise outside of his cave he didn’t think “I wonder if that’s Grunk coming over to tell me he discovered fire?” His first thought was “I bet that’s something that wants to eat me.” As a result, we have a built-in self-defense, self-preservation mechanism that instinctively perceives most things as negative.
We almost assume that everything is waiting to eat us. When you think about calling that big client and you get butterflies in your stomach, that’s the “It probably wants to eat me mechanism” kicking in.
When a person wants to ask someone out on a date, their mouth gets dry and throat closes up so all they can do is squeak, that’s the “It probably wants to eat me mechanism” kicking in. One of people’s biggest fears is public speaking, especially in front of supervisors and peers. Just the thought of presenting in front of a group makes many people sweat profusely and think about quitting their job so they don’t have to make the presentation, that’s the “It probably wants to eat me mechanism” kicking in.
Here’s the deal, there is a VERY good chance the customer, person or audience is not going to eat you, I bet that’s a relief. So, what is that you really fear? You fear rejection, what if the client or prospective love interest says NO? What if the audience doesn’t like the presentation? I have two thoughts on this, firstly, what if they say YES? Woo-Hooo!! What if they do like the presentation? AWESOME Sauce!! Secondly, even if it doesn’t go as well as you would like, so what!! While it is not a great feeling being rejected, it’s part of life. If you allow the fear of rejection to hold you back you will miss out on so many things that could have enriched your life and helped you feel fulfilled.
Here are a few tips:
- Visualize things turning out well, we have a different energy when we believe things will turn out well versus when we assume they will go poorly. In your mind, see the person responding positively, imagine the audience really enjoying your presentation.
- Think about all the good that will happen when it does turn out well. How facing this one moment of fear can change your life for the better, forever.
- Minimize the negative feelings of rejection in advance. When you get rejected you are in a negative emotional state and it is hard to make good decisions. Decide in advance what you will do if it does turn out as well as you would like, decide that this one experience does not define you, you are not a failure because a few minutes of your entire life didn’t go as planned.
- Most importantly just remember; It’s probably not going to eat you!